Friday, January 20, 2012

My Struggle From Fat to Phat!

This is me in June 2008. I was at my heaviest...approximately 160lbs. Needless to say I just about fell over and passed out the day I went in for my physical and the doctor said I weighed in at 158lbs. I had a bit of a melt down 2 months after this. wasn't a bit of a melt was a full on PANIC ATTACK!!! I started crying and hyperventilating. I was getting that heat wave through my body that was making me freak out and not able to breathe. My (ex)husband's truck had manual windows and my seat belt kept locking on me so I couldn't get the window down for air to help me breathe. It took almost ten minutes to get myself calmed down enough to breathe and talk through my tears.

I was very unhappy with what I had allowed myself to become. I had always been tiny! I weighed all of 106lbs when I graduated from high school. Between graduating high school and three months later when I was in boot camp I gained six pounds and finally weighed enough to donate blood (still couldn't because I do not have enough iron in my blood). My weight fluctuated between 105lbs and 115lbs from 2002 to 2006. Starting the summer of 2006, I was put in a desk and I slowly noticed the weight coming on. I was still getting up and walking around and getting outside to sweat but it wasn't until late Spring/early Summer 2007 I weighed in at 140lbs. I wanted to get down to 130lbs before I got married in September 2007.

This is me on my wedding day in September 2007. I was just over 140lbs. I was not happy with how I looked. This wasn't the beautiful dress that I wanted. It was a very pretty dress but I had not achieved the goals that I had set for myself. I decided that I was going to buckle down and start counting my calories and really working out and was determined to get my weight and life back under control.

I started calorie counting and tried searching the Internet for information but kept falling short. It did not take long for me stop calorie counting. I continued to go to the gym but I did not adjust my "diet". I just ate...I ate when I was hungry, when I was bored, when I was tired, when I was sad, when I was name the emotion and I was eating...

When we were getting ready to transfer out to Oregon, we agreed to try and start a family. I did not want to start a family until I gained control of my weight. After my panic attack in August 2008, I got a gym membership and discovered! I started tracking my water intake, my FOOD intake, my exercise and my weight! I started alternating between cardio and cardio/strength training. I was hitting the gym 5 - 6 days a week. I was walking on the treadmill for an hour on just cardio days at an incline and at least 45 minutes at an incline on days that I also did strength training. After about eight months, my goal was to be comfortable in a bikini because we were finally taking our honeymoon and visiting our old roommates in HAWAII! I felt comfortable and was happy with how I looked but wanted to look better!

This is May 2009. I was about 135lbs and had been able to maintain that weight for a couple of months! I felt better about showing off my stomach and wearing shorts...something I had not done since before Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. I was stuck in jeans...and if you have ever lived in the south, you know how hot and humid and nasty it can get in the summer time...and I always wore jeans.

That smile right is a genuine smile! That is at the top of Diamond Head overlooking Waikiki/Honolulu. I was having a blast getting to do all the things that I did not get a chance to do when I was in Hawaii while I was in the Coast Guard in 2003. Anytime anyone did anything fun, I had duty and was confined to the boat.

This was taken at the Coast Guard Christmas Party in December 2009. I was between 125lbs and 130lbs. My weight was staying pretty steady but I wasn't going to the gym on a regular basis anymore. I was just calorie counting and working on my feet all day and that is how I managed to maintain my weight.

In January 2010, my parents separated and I gained weight. I went back up and was stuck at 144lbs. I could not seem to lose the weight. In March 2010 I took my first Zumba class and was hooked. At the time it was just starting to blow up! We had one class on Monday night, one class Tuesday morning and Tuesday night, one class Thursday morning and Thursday night and one class Saturday morning. Six classes and I was hitting every one of them! I became a licensed Zumba Fitness instructor in July 2010 and started teaching (*Note: By the time I left the gym I was teaching at in August 2011 there were about 10 or more Zumba classes being offered every week). I also found out in March that year that my (ex)husband could not have children and it broke my heart! I wanted nothing more than to start and have a family with that man.

Even though I was teaching, I wasn't losing weight. I was counting calories and strength training but just couldn't shake the weight. It wasn't until January 2011 that my marriage started falling apart. I lost a loved one. I was still recovering from the shock of not being able to have children even though I had been looking into artificial insemination that he just kept coming up with reasons not to go through with it at the time. With all the stress of my marriage falling to pieces and knowing that I was about to lose my home, my dogs, my financial security, I found myself losing weight but it was because I wasn't eating.

When my divorce was final, I moved back home in August 2011. I got a great job in September 2011 working outside. Constantly moving and physically demanding, I found that I was losing weight. I wasn't going to the gym but working was a workout! The pounds started to fall off and I have finally met my goal weight of 120lbs and I couldn't be happier! Here is me yesterday!