Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Life Has Been Cut Too Short

I woke up this morning to a phone call from my mom.  She told me that her best friend's daughter was killed in a car accident this morning.  It was like someone reached their hand into my chest and just squeezed my heart.  I physically got sick and then just could not stay at home.  I had to get out of the house.  I went for a drive to just cry and think about her.  I cannot even remember the last time I saw her which only made me even more sad.

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time around her and her brother and their mom and dad.  Her mom has been my mom's best friend since high school and when we were all kids, they were business partners and made all kinds of jewelry.  We went to their house every week or so whenever my mom had to pick up more beads.  She was about a year and a half older than my youngest sister (just celebrated her 21st birthday at the beginning of December) and her brother is the same age as my other sister, 24.

Right now I just cannot seem to recall any memories except two.  When she was little she had this pet rabbit.  She loved the thing until one day it scratched her eyeball and she hated it after that.  She refused to go near it.  The other memory I have is from a few years ago.  I went home and her uncle had invited my family to his restaurant opening.  It was one of those openings to friends and family to see what last minute improvements need to be made before the grand opening to the public happens.  I could not believe how long it had been since I had seen her and I told her that I wanted to see her whenever I came up if I could.

I am sure I have seen her since then but I cannot honestly remember when I did.  She was such a ray of sunlight.  She met my mom's boyfriend at her party and told him that if he hurt her aunt, she would kick his ass and then she laughed and said that she would not really but he got the idea.  That was the way she was!  Always making others laugh with her spunky sense of humor and she had such a contagious laugh.  I was lucky enough to get to talk to her every so often on Facebook but there will not be anymore drunken late night funny status updates to read or pictures that she will post from weekends at the beach or with her friends.

You were 21 years old.  Still a baby in my eyes.  I love you and will miss you forever and always.  Life will never be the same now that you are gone.  Your memory will live on in all who knew you.  You were special.  Definitely one of a kind.  For a while, we will all feel a little empty, like something is missing and then our memories of you will fill that void and we will smile fondly!  May you rest in peace Meaghan!  Below is a link to a youtube video that my sister put together with a couple of her friends of pictures of this amazing young woman.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Try And Try As I Might...

I was sent this amazingly beautiful picture the other day.  It really is gorgeous!  You can see the rays of sunlight shining through this one hole in the clouds.  It made me think and feel all of these amazing things but every time I tried to actually write down all of these wonderful emotions, it all came out wrong.  Nothing seemed to come out right or sound good.  It all seemed to sound really cliche and that is really the last thing I want my writing to sound like.

When I write, I prefer to write from the heart.  I love to write about the feelings that run the deepest in my heart.  I must admit that I do have my dark days where everything just seems to go wrong.  On the rare occasion that I would allow someone to read my work, it always raised eyebrows and people would grow concerned.  Granted they seem to forget that most of that was written in high school and what teenage girl does not have bouts of depression and I would normally end up writing about suicide...even though the actual thought of hurting myself gives me the willies!  I usually freak out when I cut myself shaving my legs.

Since I cannot seem to actually find anything of any sort of relevance to write about right now, I think I will sign off in my usual fashion!