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Monday, January 16, 2012

One of Those Moments

I was just sitting on the couch...yeah that's right...no work today because of the damn snow...playing catch up on one of my favorite shows (Showtime's "Shameless") and there was a guy in the background with absolutely no lines that looked just like the asshat that got me pregnant.

I got pissed off. I got angry. My stomach started to turn and I felt my blood starting to boil. If you have no idea what I am talking about, check out one of my earliest blogs from around last winter. It brought his face right back in front of my eyes. It was a man that I have actually gone weeks and possibly months without thinking about him.

To turn my attention and thoughts to anything else, I started thinking about the love of my life. The guy that I fell in love with nine years ago. Lately there has been a lot of posts on Facebook about what was the number one song on the date of your birth. I decided to go to one of the websites and enter in the date that I met this insanely beautiful blue eyed man. On November 4, 2002, this was the number one song!

"Heaven" by DJ Sammy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYUuqbSyTHY

I absolutely loved that song! It was seriously one of my favorites and I had completely forgotten about that song! Ten days later we hooked up for the first time. It was amazing! Now I don't really remember much about dates about the first time I met anyone or the first time I kissed anyone or "slept" with anyone except him. So on that tenth day of knowing this man, this was the number one song!

"Unbreakable" by Westlife
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYUuqbSyTHY

The last time I laid eyes on this man I was crying my eyes out, I kissed him, told him that I loved him (for the first time in the one year we had been dating on and off) and I walked away. I found him on Facebook (finally social media has come through) only to find that he is married with 3 beautiful little girls. I have been wondering all these years how he was doing and if he was happy. He did finally tell me that he loves me more than I could ever imagine. I could not function for days after he told me that. The only thing that could have ever made it better is if I could have heard the words right out of his mouth.

Now I am lost in my thoughts, looking out the window at the snow flurries just wishing that I was somewhere else. Somewhere nice and warm instead of this freezing cold, snowing conditions that just makes me want to stay home with hot coffee and movies all day long! Now I'm going to watch some choreography and see how I can shake up my classes!

Until next time!