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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Let's Catch Up

The original title of this post was going to be "Nobody's Perfect..." which would lead to an opening with a video clip from MTV's Girl Code where Nicole says "...except Beyonce..."

Unfortunately I lost my patience while sifting through videos on YouTube trying to find it (btw...you can catch full episodes of Girl Code on YouTube...super fun fact that I might indulge in tomorrow...my second day off this week) and gave up and decided to make this into a little bit of a rant session.  Maybe I'll throw in a couple feel good moments!  We shall see!!

Where to start...ah...remember this post?  Something that I sometimes wish I could forget...why?  Because some guys just suck...and if I were still single (which I'm not...insert blushing moment and super cheesy ass smile) I would have said "because all guys suck ass"...which would lead me to explain that the douche bag I wrote that post about decided to build up my love for him and then just *poof* disappear.  Wanna know my response to that dick move?


(and you should totally follow me on Twitter if you're not already...because I have finally found my inner awesomeness and I am sharing it with the world!)

Woman scorned...1...douche bag dick head...0!  Fuck yeah!

Now if you scroll to the comments of that very same post you will find a comment from "Anonymous" professing his love to me.  I know who this man is.  I gave him my heart a long time ago and (this is where it gets a little too girlie for me) he still has a little piece of it.  He will always be important to me and special to me but he told me that he loved me and made me fall in love with him all over again only to shut me out and then not hear anything from him for months...and I text him on his birthday and get a thank you (which totally shocked me) but was followed up by "who is this" a couple days later...asshole party of one?!

Oh and it gets better!  While hanging out with my boyfriend and his roommate this last weekend, I'm checking out my Pinterest app only to see the directly above mentioned asshole has left me a comment on one of my pins that says to call him.

I JUST ABOUT SAW RED!!!  What did I do instead...I stewed on it for a couple of days.  I thought about texting him...calling him never once crossed my mind...so I sent him an email...it was short and sweet and to the point of you suck and you hurt me and I don't know if I can talk to you.  After several revisions that is pretty much the gist of what was sent.  Strangely enough I feel better!

On to the fun stuff!  I am about to totally rock the blogging world with all the cool and awesome shit that I get to do with my boyfriend and his roommate and their friends (that apparently really like me and might become my friends too...because who doesn't want to be my friend...I rock!).

Here is a fun little adventure that we had this last weekend.  If I had pictures I would say be prepared to have your mind blown like the guy at the end of the AT&T commercial with the girl who says "What about infinity TIMES infinity?"...yeah you know which one I'm talking about!

I have to come up with something to abbreviate roommate with because I can shorten "my boyfriend" to "my bf" but "his roommate" to what?  Can you insert hashtags into a blog?  Does that make you a douche?  If not then...Can't figure out how to abbreviate roommate #FirstWorldProblems...if it is a douche move...then ignore what was previously written!

While I mull over that, here is what went down!

BF and I went to my great grandmother's 96th birthday breakfast (which I repeatedly gave him the option to get out of but he went and suffered and survived the crazy and damn it I love it!).  After telling my dad and my grandmother that BF got called in to work and we had to leave, we hit the mall...Game Stop and Barnes & Nobel...I got myself three new books!  On our way home, I texted ROOMIE (eh...not diggin it yet but we'll see if I can come up with anything clever as we go).  BF said that RM (not so much) had really wanted to take his raft out to the lake but he (being BF) was always busy or tired or just plain didn't want to go (his words) but we had a beautiful sunny day, hardly a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze, not too hot but not chilly, so we decided to go out on the lake!

I trust these guys to know what they're doing...I mean BUD (getting close I think) has this raft that easily fit the three of us comfortably...could possibly toss in a fourth person but there wouldn't be a whole lot of room to really move or get comfortable.  The raft had two paddles (I will get to the "had" part in a second) and I was with two dudes so guess who didn't have to paddle!

We ended up floating around for a while and then realized that we were about in the center of the lake...we decided to maybe start trying to head back to where we started which was all the way across the lake now because we didn't want to walk over a mile back to the car...and then BF broke one of the paddles.

We tried to ghetto rig the paddle by using a piece of line to tie the paddle to the oar and BF's flip flop...did I mention that these are plastic oars...and if we would have had some duct tape that shit would have been MONEY!

It worked for about five minutes before coming apart...and as HOMIE (I'm totally not diggin Bud anymore) is trying to MacGyver the paddle, we find ourselves floating dangerously close to the swimming area...which we are then told via jerk face with a megaphone...in a row boat...inside the swimming area...that we are too close to the swimming area and need to keep our "craft" 40 feet away.

With the use of one paddle, we get ourselves more than 40 feet way and at this point we determine that we will never make it back to where we started with only one paddle so we make for the nearest part of shore.  I take the broken paddle and help a little with the rowing...BF said that I helped but I don't know if I really did except to maybe help us stay going straight...which counts for something.

We make it to shore and get out of the water and deflate the raft and make our mile long trek back to the car which took less time to walk back then the amount of time we spent in the raft trying to decide (pre-broken paddle) if we should make it to the car or the nearest dock.

Talk about a fun day!

I'm going to continue to think about what to call Mr. Roommate (since I do not use names...every...although I was tempted to plaster douche bag's name but if you search for @Emperor_of_beer on Twitter, you'll totally find his name.  I will also keep a better record of all the cool and awesome stuff that I do now that I am not single anymore (three weeks and 37 hours, what).

Until next time!