Let's Catch Up

The original title of this post was going to be "Nobody's Perfect..." which would lead to an opening with a video clip from MTV's Girl Code where Nicole says "...except Beyonce..."

Unfortunately I lost my patience while sifting through videos on YouTube trying to find it (btw...you can catch full episodes of Girl Code on YouTube...super fun fact that I might indulge in tomorrow...my second day off this week) and gave up and decided to make this into a little bit of a rant session.  Maybe I'll throw in a couple feel good moments!  We shall see!!

Where to start...ah...remember this post?  Something that I sometimes wish I could forget...why?  Because some guys just suck...and if I were still single (which I'm not...insert blushing moment and super cheesy ass smile) I would have said "because all guys suck ass"...which would lead me to explain that the douche bag I wrote that post about decided to build up my love for him and then just *poof* disappear.  Wanna know my response to that dick move?

This is you @Emperor_of_Beer a coward!!! pic.twitter.com/OCnaciElw0
— Myranda (@Myranda84) July 3, 2013

(and you should totally follow me on Twitter if you're not already...because I have finally found my inner awesomeness and I am sharing it with the world!)

Woman scorned...1...douche bag dick head...0!  Fuck yeah!

Now if you scroll to the comments of that very same post you will find a comment from "Anonymous" professing his love to me.  I know who this man is.  I gave him my heart a long time ago and (this is where it gets a little too girlie for me) he still has a little piece of it.  He will always be important to me and special to me but he told me that he loved me and made me fall in love with him all over again only to shut me out and then not hear anything from him for months...and I text him on his birthday and get a thank you (which totally shocked me) but was followed up by "who is this" a couple days later...asshole party of one?!

Oh and it gets better!  While hanging out with my boyfriend and his roommate this last weekend, I'm checking out my Pinterest app only to see the directly above mentioned asshole has left me a comment on one of my pins that says to call him.

I JUST ABOUT SAW RED!!!  What did I do instead...I stewed on it for a couple of days.  I thought about texting him...calling him never once crossed my mind...so I sent him an email...it was short and sweet and to the point of you suck and you hurt me and I don't know if I can talk to you.  After several revisions that is pretty much the gist of what was sent.  Strangely enough I feel better!

On to the fun stuff!  I am about to totally rock the blogging world with all the cool and awesome shit that I get to do with my boyfriend and his roommate and their friends (that apparently really like me and might become my friends too...because who doesn't want to be my friend...I rock!).

Here is a fun little adventure that we had this last weekend.  If I had pictures I would say be prepared to have your mind blown like the guy at the end of the AT&T commercial with the girl who says "What about infinity TIMES infinity?"...yeah you know which one I'm talking about!

I have to come up with something to abbreviate roommate with because I can shorten "my boyfriend" to "my bf" but "his roommate" to what?  Can you insert hashtags into a blog?  Does that make you a douche?  If not then...Can't figure out how to abbreviate roommate #FirstWorldProblems...if it is a douche move...then ignore what was previously written!

While I mull over that, here is what went down!

BF and I went to my great grandmother's 96th birthday breakfast (which I repeatedly gave him the option to get out of but he went and suffered and survived the crazy and damn it I love it!).  After telling my dad and my grandmother that BF got called in to work and we had to leave, we hit the mall...Game Stop and Barnes & Nobel...I got myself three new books!  On our way home, I texted ROOMIE (eh...not diggin it yet but we'll see if I can come up with anything clever as we go).  BF said that RM (not so much) had really wanted to take his raft out to the lake but he (being BF) was always busy or tired or just plain didn't want to go (his words) but we had a beautiful sunny day, hardly a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze, not too hot but not chilly, so we decided to go out on the lake!

I trust these guys to know what they're doing...I mean BUD (getting close I think) has this raft that easily fit the three of us comfortably...could possibly toss in a fourth person but there wouldn't be a whole lot of room to really move or get comfortable.  The raft had two paddles (I will get to the "had" part in a second) and I was with two dudes so guess who didn't have to paddle!

We ended up floating around for a while and then realized that we were about in the center of the lake...we decided to maybe start trying to head back to where we started which was all the way across the lake now because we didn't want to walk over a mile back to the car...and then BF broke one of the paddles.

We tried to ghetto rig the paddle by using a piece of line to tie the paddle to the oar and BF's flip flop...did I mention that these are plastic oars...and if we would have had some duct tape that shit would have been MONEY!

It worked for about five minutes before coming apart...and as HOMIE (I'm totally not diggin Bud anymore) is trying to MacGyver the paddle, we find ourselves floating dangerously close to the swimming area...which we are then told via jerk face with a megaphone...in a row boat...inside the swimming area...that we are too close to the swimming area and need to keep our "craft" 40 feet away.

With the use of one paddle, we get ourselves more than 40 feet way and at this point we determine that we will never make it back to where we started with only one paddle so we make for the nearest part of shore.  I take the broken paddle and help a little with the rowing...BF said that I helped but I don't know if I really did except to maybe help us stay going straight...which counts for something.

We make it to shore and get out of the water and deflate the raft and make our mile long trek back to the car which took less time to walk back then the amount of time we spent in the raft trying to decide (pre-broken paddle) if we should make it to the car or the nearest dock.

Talk about a fun day!

I'm going to continue to think about what to call Mr. Roommate (since I do not use names...every...although I was tempted to plaster douche bag's name but if you search for @Emperor_of_beer on Twitter, you'll totally find his name.  I will also keep a better record of all the cool and awesome stuff that I do now that I am not single anymore (three weeks and 37 hours, what).

Until next time!

Up, Up, and Away!

It has been a long week and today is only my Wednesday!  Remember when I had one of "THOSE" days?  Not really?  Let me refresh your memory here!  Today seems to be another one.

My head is killing me!  Seriously...it feels like it is going to split open at any given moment...or I am going to vomit everywhere.  These are a few of my current stressers that I know are the reasons behind these nasty headaches:

A)  The fact that the VA (Veteran's Affairs) overpaid me and sent my money into an account that my name is not on and I have ZERO access to (which means having to talk to my ex husband...and only via email so there is a paper trail if he decides to go into douche bag mode).

B)  I am enrolled in an English Literature class being assigned to read work that looks like English and sounds like English but when you put the individual words together to form phrases and sentences, I am screwed!

C)  Speaking of school, I got my work schedule for this coming week and I am only working 17 hours...which after taxes will not even cover my payment for my class let alone the other bills that I have (car insurance, cell phone, credit card, storage unit, and rent) or the fact that I have to put gas in my car to get to work and I need to be able to feed myself something with a better nutritional value than Top Ramen (only beef flavored thank you)!

D)  Then there is my knee!  I do not have the added stress of trying to figure out how to pay for the X-rays, MRIs, Physical Therapy, and doctor's visits since that is all covered by the VA BUT those people are so damn slow!  I originally hurt my knee 8/12/12.  I was first seen by the Physician's Assistant (because my doctor was on vacation) on 8/13/12.  I had X-rays on 8/14/12.  A week later I went back in, with my pain still as high as ever, and demanded an MRI because even though he (the PA) put in a referral for PT, I was not able to get scheduled until 10/15/12.  Seriously!  After several messages I obtained another number for the Radiology department at the VA Hospital in Seattle and got scheduled for Friday 8/31/12.  After playing phone tag for over a week, I finally found out that the MRI came back normal...so I am in pain for no apparent reason but we are going to do PT for four to six weeks and when that does not work (which I highly doubt it will) then I get my MRI with contrast (which I should have fought for in the first place).  We are looking at down time until December at the earliest!

I had actually intended on writing posts about my knee and the whole VA overpaid fiasco but have not gotten to it yet!  However the VA thing is still unfolding so there is PLENTY of time!  Now you see why I have a constant headache!

Then factor in a person.  We have all met that one person right?  The one where just the slightest glance makes your head hurt...yep.  I have one of those people.  Friday I had a headache from the moment I saw this person until the moment he left.  Really...like as soon as he was gone, my headache faded away!  I guess that will be one up side of only working two days this week.

I had a conversation with one of the company's customers today who owns his own plane.  He offered to take me flying if I ever wanted to go and said that his plane has dual controls so if I wanted to, I could get some hands on time.  I politely thanked him but told him that I prefer to just look out the window.  I do not want the responsibility that comes with flying a plane.

I told this conversation to one of my co-workers and told her that being up in the air is really my happy place.  From start up to shut down, my eyes are out the window.  I love to watch the runway fade on take-off.  I love to just look out the window at the cities below.  I love to be above the clouds where the sun is shining and the sky is the bluest of blue.  I love watching the runway get closer and closer until touch down.  After describing that to her, all I have been thinking about is getting up in the air.  I need to.  It is just so peaceful.  I hardly talk when I am in the air.  I physically have to force myself to talk when someone is with me.  Does not matter if it is in a little puddle jumper or a commercial flight.  I just clear my head of any and all thoughts and worries.

Prepare yourself for what I am about to say...it will shock anyone who knows me...it works better than Zumba.  There...I said it!  Flying leaves me with the high even after the flight is over...it lasts for at least a couple of hours.  Anyone remember my flight in the Super Caravan?  Just talking about that flight relieves some stress temporarily!

Now that I have avoided all aspects of my class this week I should at least make an attempt at responding to a classmate or two.  Until next time!

Have You Ever Had To Deal With The Police?

I know that I have been sort of MIA for awhile but I have been crazy busy...but that is for a different blog at a later date...and I have a few that I want to write!  For now, let me address the title of my post!

Have you ever had to deal with the police?  Other than your routine traffic stops I mean.  I have been pulled over a few times, once resulting in a speeding ticket that (if I had not been in the middle of transferring to New Orleans and had a few extra days) I would have fought because I most definitely was not speeding AND I am sorry but Mr. Texas State Trooper you cannot possibly think that I would believe you when you said that, "It took me forever to catch up to you."  If that is the case then you need to go back to working a beat where the speed limit is NOT 70 mph...or you need to petition for better vehicles if you could not catch me in my little V6 automatic Ford Mustang (that had the cruise control set at no more than 75 mph...not 86 retard)!

Again...not really what I was getting at so let me try that again!  I like to think that I have had a fairly decent set of morals and values taught to me and that I try to be a good person.  My freshman year of high school I was walking home from school with a few friends.  It was not the most direct route home.  In fact, it was the completely opposite direction of my house but that was because it was still really nice and hot outside and we were heading to 7-11 for some Slurpees!

On the main road to get from the school to 7-11 we were walking on the sidewalk going against the traffic.  We were laughing and joking and talking when I smelled smoke.  We all looked across the street and saw that someone's lawn had caught FIRE!  It had been so hot and dry and the homeowners obviously were not watering their lawn otherwise it would not have burned.

A couple of my guy friends ran around the house looking for a hose to start spraying it to put it out while the couple other girl friends and I started banging down the front door yelling that their yard was on fire.  The owners son was home sleeping and we woke him and he thought we were playing a joke.  Like we would play a joke like that, let alone a joke like that on someone we did not know!

We helped put the fire out and thought that was it but apparently I was wrong.  The next thing I know a detective shows up at my house a few days later.  We invited him into our home, offered him something to drink, thought that he was going to take my statement and thank me and my friends for being Good Samaritans. Not at all.  He took my statement and then practically called me a liar to my face and in front of my mom.  He told me to quit covering for my friends and told me that if I told him who started the fire they would not hold anything against me.

I do not remember if I cried but I know that I was angry enough to cry and that is when my mom told him that it was enough and that we were done.  She asked him to leave and that he needed to think twice before telling a 14 year old girl that she was a liar and needed to turn in her friends for something they helped STOP...not start.

Have you ever had to deal with the police in this sort of capacity?  Please share your story with me!

Was That Sexual Harrassment?

I am not ashamed to say that I am a loyal subscriber to Cosmo! I love that magazine! It truly is the woman's bible! This latest issue had an article titled "The Sex Crime No One Talks About". I tried to find a link online with the whole article but I haven't found one yet so next time you're at the store, grab a copy and flip to page 180. It talks about being touched in public.

Ladies, I know that this has probably happened to us all at least once...when you're walking down the street, out with friends at a club or bar, on a bus, train or something...that moment when you feel a hand on your backside or someone gets a little too close and rubs up against you (either front to front or your side or your back). When the latter happens we tend to just brush it off like the person was just trying to get by and it's really crowded but is that really why it just happened.

While reading this article I had a small flash back to when I was 19 or 20 and still in my first year of living in New Orleans. I was out at a club (the name of which I still remember but I am not going to post it) with some of the guys that I worked with. I was no stranger to my single guy friends getting drunk and grabbing my butt. I actually prefer it to happen by someone I know and trust than by a stranger that I have never seen before and will probably never see again.

Regardless, I remember feeling someone grab my ass and I turned around and there was this guy standing there with a beer in hand, swaying a little, obviously drunk, and I told him that I did not like him touching me and would appreciate it if he kept his hands to himself. To a drunk person that is apparently an INVITATION to do it again, right? He followed me as I walked away and he did it again. I turned around, looked him right in the face and told him that if he touched me one more time, not only would I scream but I would knock his beer to the ground and kick him in the nuts. Not more than a second after I turned around and went to walk away he grabbed me again.

At that moment, flames shot up in front of my eyes. I hadn't even realized that one of my male friends was right there and had heard my last warning to this dirt bag. I was turning around with my arm pulled back and just as I faced the guy and started to bring my fist towards his face, I was picked up and pulled away. I was kicking and yelling at him to let me go and kick some ass and he just carried me away.

It was the one time I ever almost punched someone in the face. It is not, however, the first time I had someone touch me. I scoured my oldest posts...searching to see if I've already talked about this but I didn't see anything so if I've mentioned this before...oh well...I'm doing it again.

I was 18 years old. I was fresh into the Coast Guard. I think it was after Thanksgiving but not quite Christmas yet. I had only been in San Francisco at my unit for about a month. I had only been in the Coast Guard for about three months. When you first enter into the Coast Guard (I'm not sure if it extends to all the other military branches) you are kind of in a probationary period. Pretty much if you step out of line and screw up within the first 180 days you are gone! The biggest one is usually getting caught drinking underage.

When I went to boot camp, I did not cuss, drink or smoke. After eight weeks in boot camp, I was cussing like a sailor and dropping the "f" bomb...which is something I never said...the occassional swear word would get muttered but the "f" bomb...NEVER! I did not even last a month on my boat before I was smoking and then the infamous night happened!

I had tried drinking when I was in Mexico for my Senior Trip but I weighed about 105 lbs soaking wet and had never really drank before. When my friends poured me a shot of Bacardi Superior and told me to shoot it, I did. I figured one wouldn't hurt right? Well they poured another and another and had me shoot one each minute for three minutes. It wasn't until much later that I found out that I had taken double shots...

Let's do the math...a female...non drinker...105 lbs...six shots of rum in three minutes...I was feeling pretty good about ten minutes later. I was enjoying life for about an hour before I went to the bathroom...then my body decided that it didn't like the liquor in my system and I proceeded to vomit. Knowing that they screwed up, my friends put me on the couch, covered me with a blanket, left a trash can next to me in case I needed to puke more and left me alone.

Later that night when everyone was passed out, I started to stir and slowly wake up. I realized that there was a hand inside of my pants...yet I did a mental count of my hands and they were both accounted for and neither were in my pants. I ripped the hand out and buttoned and zipped my pants up and noticed my friend's roommate standing above me leaning over the back side of the couch. The guy that I was dating was passed out on the other end of the couch but I had thrown up so hard that I couldn't scream, yell, or kick at him to wake him up.

I spent what felt like the rest of the night with the blanket wrapped around me tightly and on my stomach fighting this asshole from getting his hands under the blanket and into my pants again. I finally woke up in the morning being pelted in the face by McDonald's french fries. I didn't have the typical hangover...I had the "I've been violated" hangover. I was shaking and took my boyfriend outside and told him what had happened. He flipped out naturally. Next thing I know, I told my ex boyfriend what happened and he actually punched a hole in the shed at my friend's house. Before the half hour is over there are about ten of my guy friends there and they know what happened to me and they are all ready to KILL this guy.

The guy that became like my big brother on my boat, and the one who introduced me to all of my guy friends, was the voice of reason. While everyone else wanted to take the dude out back and have a blanket party, my brother said they were going to sit him down and hear him out. Well naturally when he was surrounded by almost 15 guys at this point he was trying to cover his own ass. He claimed that he had been up all night playing video games on his laptop and would periodically check on me to make sure that I was still breathing by putting his hand in front of my mouth to feel for my breath. Now I'm not genius or doctor but I'm pretty sure that I don't breathe in and exhale from inside of my pants...just sayin!

They didn't buy into his story and told him that he was not allowed to be within 100 feet of me. If I was at his house, he was to stay in his room or leave and was to NEVER be alone anywhere near me or they would kick his ass. He didn't like that he had restrictions of where he could go in his own house but I think they scared him. I didn't see him again for about seven or eight months when my friends got back from their trip around the world. I was talking to a few people in front of someone's house when I looked over and saw him. I instantly started shaking and when my guys realized why, they surrounded me and a couple of them walked over to the guy and told him that he was not welcome there and needed to leave. It wasn't until after arguing for a few minutes that he realized they were protecting me and then he left fast!

I did not report this because I was in the 180 day window and it would have gotten back that there had been underage drinking and I could have been kicked out...even though what he did was way worse, I would have been left with a black mark on my record and would have had a horrible time trying to get a job in the civilian world.

A few months after this incident, it was my week to be the Mess Cook. Pretty much that means I was a glorified dish washer for a week. I was taking a break between meals and went out to the back of the boat and one of the guys from my department was on Quarterdeck watch and he grabbed my butt as I walked by. I told him that was not okay and avoided him the rest of the day. I told my rack mate (and she had also been my rack mate in boot camp) a week or so later and she told our BM3 who told our BM2 who told our BM1. Our BM1 pulled us into Aft Laundry and the guy tried to tell our supervisor that he knee'd me in the thigh. I'm pretty sure that I can tell the difference between being knee'd in the thigh and having someone sitting on their butt and they grab mine as I walk by.

In my last full week on the boat I was the Mess Cook again. I had become pretty close to one of the cooks but not in that way because he was married. That last week though he would come in when no one else was around and touch me. He would be talking to me and then come up behind me kind of pinning me to the sink and reach his hand between my legs. I couldn't believe what was happening. Then he tried to kiss me in the parking lot my last night working in the kitchen. I told him that I couldn't do that because he was married. He played me a song that he said made him think of me and I told him that he needed to go home to his wife and forget about me.

While I think back at it now...I should have spoken up but I didn't. I kept it all inside. That last incident has NEVER been revealed until now. It's no wonder I'm broken. I have dealt with all sorts of abuse and never really dealt with it. Right now, I don't have the funds to seek counciling so this...blogging...will be my therapy!

Until Next Time!