- I am 28 years old
- I am a Vet (and "disabled"...20% for now)
- I was married for almost four years
- I have been divorced for over a year
- I will never make a promise that I am not 100% certain that I can keep
- I will speak my mind and not keep my feelings and emotions bottled up (still working on the whole bottled up part...kinda encoded in my DNA)
- I will NEVER lock away who I really am ever again
- I will do what I need to in order to make myself happy
The truth is I do not know if I want to get married again...and I will not know unless I meet a man that can change my mind. I do want a family...but it can wait...I am not in a rush anymore. Do I want another wedding or another piece of paper that was so easy to obtain and so difficult to get out of...I do not know if I will ever be able to trust someone enough to not try and strip me of everything that makes me who I am again or who will make me completely vulnerable and dependant on him. Can you say TRUST ISSUES!!!
With all that being said, I have to admit, I signed up for eHarmony like over 10 years ago when it first started (and was FREE...I might add). I did not actually have any luck...but I did not actually keep up with it or anything and discontinued use when they decided to start making you pay. I added the Match.com app on Facebook and once I discovered that you could not actually contact the people they were matching you with unless you PAID I deleted my account.
I am not against finding someone by using online sites and social media but I am broke and am not willing to pay a website. I have found that in becoming who I am, I have become more open-minded. I interact with people on Twitter all the time. Perfect strangers. Facebook...well that one I like to keep Private and only accept those who I actually know personally.
You strike up conversations with complete and total strangers over pictures, links, etc. I am not sure how, when or why my interaction with Mr Wonderful* started but it started on Twitter. Then we started sending messages on Facebook. Getting to know each other. He told me about an app that you can send voice notes and text.
Next thing I know, I am waking up in the morning with a voice notes from Mr Wonderful calling me beautiful and saying good morning and hoping that I have a good day. If it is a day that I have to work the Line, he tells me that he hopes I do not injure myself. Ha! Very unlikely! He once told me that he was going to wrap me in bubble wrap so I would not hurt myself and so he could pop it! On a particularly difficult night, he quoted "Fraggle Rock", "Star Trek" and "Boondock Saints" trying to cheer me up!
I find my heart fluttering when I have any contact with him. I feel myself blush when he compliments me. I cannot help but feel giddy thinking about him. If I find half a second to catch my breath while I am working, he comes to mind. I have seen his face. I have heard his voice. I close my eyes and I can almost see and hear him speak directly to me. We want to meet but we live in different time zones. There is a possibility that we might be able to meet in the next few months and the anticipation is just killing me...and I am fairly certain that he feels the same.
The title poses a question. Where do you find love? Please leave a comment (either with your name or anonymously) and tell me where you found love. If you have not found love yet, please comment about what/who you hope to find someday!
Until next time!
*Name has been changed
You can find love anywhere. I found mine on Yahoo messenger. We met on the S.A. River Walk. We used messenger to keep in touch while he was in Korea and I was in Montana. He was Army and I was in the Air Force. I know that flutter, we have been together 10 years and I still get it. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBTW this was before MySpace Facebook and Twitter. Lol
I have only ever driven by the S.A. River Walk...never had a chance to stop...and I kick myself in the ass for not doing so when I lived down there. It is amazing how we find people. Mr. Wonderful started our conversations on Twitter. I have no idea how he found me or why he started following me. I do not think you ever told me that he was Army...I hope that I find that man who will continue to give me flutters for years and years to come!
Deletefor me it was working at the grocery store
ReplyDeletegood luck with mr wonderful!
Thank you Stef! I just hope I get to actually meet him someday soon. This waiting is just killing me! I am going to end up psyching myself out!
DeleteWell Myranda since you know where I found my love. I will say this... it took years (7 in fact) for him to convince me to put our relationship down on that "piece of paper," a family was more important to me and as he says "I tested him with all the real life experiences" before I said yes. Two kids into the relationship and many struggles, accomplishments, and eye opening interactions later I knew he was the one. Now even since then there has been even more difficult times when I thought there is no way we will make it...but somehow we pulled through. You should never give up who you are and remember that who you are is forever growing and changing, your "love" won't be able to keep up if you don't wear your feelings on your sleeve and share all your life changing experiences as your are encountering them. Love you girl and wish you the best!!!
ReplyDeleteCommunication is what I really need to work on. I have a horrible habit of bottling up my feelings and not expressing them. It is hard for me to express when I am upset/sad/angry...all the times that I really NEED to communicate is when I naturally shut down. I need someone who can call me out on my shit and keep me honest and true so I do not self distruct again. I cannot and will not allow myself to fail at another relationship! If I am going to go all in again, I want it to last!
DeleteMyranda, as you pose the question on your blogg, where can you find love? It's right in front of you... I loved you from the moment I looked into your eyes! You are my first true love and I have not stopped loving you, or thinking about you. I believe things in life happen for a reason, and life has led me to where it may be possible for me to correct a mistake I made with you... Being immature and not knowing what I had with you was my biggest downfall. I didn't know what I had until I lost you. Maturity takes time and lessons you put yourself into. I know who I am. I know what I want in life. You need to take a moment to think about what you want in a relationship. I want someone who loves me as much as I love them. I have so much to give and offer. You don't need to change or be afraid to be who you are with someone you love. Because you know that no matter what, that person will back you up, because you are who you are. Myranda, I love you for who you are, and what you have become. You have become a beautifully woman. You have a glow that lights up a room. You have had experiences that have led you to this point. I have had the same. I know this is all over the place. My biggest fault is that I can't express what I am thinking, and put it into a complete sentence. I love you more than i can put into words. There are no words that can describe (Webster didn't include this into the dictionary, because it did not exist) how my love for you is stronger now more than it has ever been. I can't wait to send you a text message, just to get a response. I get butterflies when I see a picture of you. I get butterflies when you send me a text. I know I have a lot going on in my life, as do you, but I have never been so sure of my feelings for you. I know this is a lot to take in, but I want you to know what I am thinking. I know we are hundreds of miles from one another, but I will do everything in my power to make an attempt to be as close to you as I can be. I have been afraid to tell you this. I was afraid that you would not feel the same. But I am willing to put it all out there for you. I am taking a chance that if you don't feel the same, I may loose you. Please know that this is not some crazy, all of the sudden idea I came up with. For the past ten years, I have thought about the what if. I have thought about the stupid decision I made when I didn't meet you half way when you were in Louisiana, and I was in Texas. I was broke but didn't want you to know this. I should not have waited this long to tell you my feelings for you. But I can't regret that, as some wise person told me... Myranda, I love you and I chose us. I want to be yours and I will do all I can to make that a possibility. I want to wake up with you next to you. I want you to be the first thing I see i the morning, and the last thing I see when we lie down. I want to feel you next to me.I want to know that I have you waiting for me. I want you to trust me.I want you to need me as much as I need you. I really want you to feel the same. If you don't, well than I feel like a crazy stoker. lol. Okay, so for lack of a better ending, Please let me know what you think, and how you feel. Because the anticipation is killing me...
ReplyDeleteThis comment was originally posted a few days ago but somehow got deleted. It was posted as "Anonymous" but I do know who wrote it and to maintain their privacy, I will not give up the person's name...if the person had wanted to leave their name, they would have. All I know is that I am pretty sure that my heart stopped the entire time I read this. I am pretty sure I even cried a few tears (totally got all girlie...bleh...I know right?!?)!
DeleteHi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
ReplyDeleteMy last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing
several weeks of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?
Stop by my weblog :: data
I have not ever had any issues with hackers on my blog...at least not to my knowledge. Due to the fact that I scroll over the word "data" above in your comment and no actual website shows up and you did not actually leave the web address, I will not click on the link. I love to read other blogs so if you want to leave the web address I will totally check it out!
Delete