Almost 2013

I gave up on New Year's Resolutions a long time ago because I never stick to them.  I mean everyone makes the same ones almost every year, right?

I will eat healthier

I will go to the gym/get gym membership

I will quit smoking

I will quit drinking

I will blah blah blah

But how often does one actually stick to their resolutions?  Yeah...it would be nice if I ate healthier...do not get me wrong...you put a plate of raw veggies in front of me and a small amount of lite ranch and I am a happy camper!  I love salads and fruits and all that healthy stuff BUT my sister hit the nail on the head.

You work out to support your bad eating habits!

Really, it is kind of true.  It is totally not intentional but it is true!  I mean I would work out, teach Zumba or go for a run or something and then eat a quarter pound big bite hot dog and a grab bag of Doritos from 7-11 for lunch the next day!  Totally disgusting but so yummy!  I get the worst cravings!  I had a craving for Tostino's pizza and pizza rolls...so I went to the store and bought four pizzas (because they were four for $5) and a bag of 90 count pizza rolls.  Totally disgusting but so good!

I do however pay for a gym membership (however it is currently on hold because of my knee injury) and I want to start going more often once I can.  I am not too sure if I will continue with the 6am workouts with my boss though...that is just too damn early!

I do not drink nearly as much I want to and not even remotely as often as I talk about it so quitting drinking is not on my list.  I love my Bud and Bud Light and Jose Cuervo is one of my close and personal friends.  It would be nice to quit smoking.  For me it truly is just a bad habit that I need to break.  I do not have the addiction that most people have.  If I am at home, I do not smoke.  If I am out and about running errands with someone, I do not smoke.  I tend to smoke out of routine.  I get in my car, I smoke.  I take a break at work (only when I am working outside on the line...never take a break when I am upstairs in the office) after a few hours, I smoke.  I can even go out with friends for drinks and if no one smokes, I do not smoke.  I really is just a habit.  I have gone days without smoking never NEEDING to smoke.  It will be a little more difficult to break than when I was biting my nails...because I put tape over my finger nails to keep myself from biting them and that is how I stopped.  I know I can do it because I have done it before.

Now I do have some goals for 2013:

• Make my lunch to take to work
• Quit smoking for good
• Run in five 5K runs with my mom (I will save the Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon for a year that I do not have horrible knee pain)
• Complete the Zumbatomic training
• Eliminate half of my credit card debt (it would be nice to eliminate all but I will settle with half)
• Move out on my own
• Re-enroll in school and take at least three classes
• Continue to find myself and better myself to make me happy
• Share my feelings more and not shut people out so much

That last one is going to be a tough one...same with the credit card debt and the moving out on my own.  I am sure that I will make add and maybe subtract from that list over the next few days but once I finalize it, I will write it down and post it somewhere that I will see it every day so that way I might stick with it!

Until next time!

Christmas Eve...Eve

It is the eve before Christmas Eve.  It is just after 8pm and I am in bed.  I am in bed because I have to work tomorrow and then drive down to my dad's house after work for dinner and Christmas with him and his girlfriend.  I do not know his girlfriend hardly at all and apparently she is making a turkey dinner.  So much for having an easy and laid back kind of dinner.  After talking to B, I figured that we would make simple things like having Shmeath (pronounced sh-meh-th) toss little smokies into the crock pot with some barbecue sauce or meat balls...pretty much anything she can toss into the crock pot because my nephews can be pretty rambunctious!

That changed a few days ago when I was informed that she is making a turkey dinner and that I needed to get her a present because she got us something.  Guess what...I did not get her anything last year...nor did I get my mom's husband (yeah that is a new term as of this afternoon...long story and so going to be a post here in the next few days) anything last year...and because they were planning on getting married on December 1st (not 22 days later) that is the only reason he got anything from me this year.

I told Shmeath that I have to work on Christmas Eve...I mean it is on a Monday and I work in the office on Mondays.  I told her that I would not know what time I get off until the schedule comes out and it could be out as early as Friday and as late as Sunday afternoon.  Well it came out this morning and I told her that it says I work until 4:30pm.  I get a reply from her that my dad said that we are eating dinner at 4:30pm so if I am not there by then, Shmeath said that she would save me a plate.

Well is that not just a be F**K YOU or what?!  So not cool!  From what I have been told, we normally close up the office around the same time that the restaurant closes and they are closing at 3pm.  My last flight on the schedule gets back around 2:30pm so I should be closed up shortly after 3pm if all goes well...of course I will not actually leave until I am told I can.  If I can get out around then and there is not too much traffic I just might be able to get down to my dad's house in time.

I just thought that was kind of rude of my dad given that my sisters and I had been talking about having dinner around 5:30pm or 6pm...but then again that was when dinner was going to be easy and simple.  I am so glad that his girlfriend decided to ask if we all wanted turkey for dinner...I know that is what I think of first when I think about Christmas dinner...oh no wait...no I do not!  I am actually not a fan of turkey at all really to be honest.  Looks like I will be having a dinner consisting of side dishes.

I have no energy to post about the ridiculousness of the fact that my mom got married today so that will have to wait until tomorrow maybe...write during my lunch...possibly!  Until next time!

If You Insist on a Lie...

DO NOT GET CAUGHT!

Pretty simple right?  I mean think about it...

You can Google just about ANYTHING and get an answer from somewhere in cyber space!

While it is a very long story, let me see if I can come up with a cliff note version for you.

My ex and I bought a house 4.5 years ago.  We were obviously planning on living there for the 4-year tour while he was assigned to his unit and then planned to:

A)  Rent it out to some Coasties until we could sell it

OR

B)  Sell it if the housing market went back up...and make a profit

Our marriage fell apart and for a year he was having to use about $300 out of his own pocket in addition to his BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) in order to cover the mortgage.  Before I moved last summer I told him that he should get a roommate and charge them rent.  Even if it was only like $500 or $600, it would help take some of the burden off of him as far as the mortgage AND the bills but he said he did not want a roommate.  I told him that it did not matter what he wanted to do...he needed to think about how it would benefit him financially.

He avoided a roommate (as far as I know) and then transferred this summer.  I did not know where he had transferred to until last night.  Last night, my sister tells me ("Don't be mad but I talk to ****."  "B...I'm not mad if you talk to him...Frankly I don't care if you talk to him.") that he is trying to play a victim and get pity...just like he did when we first split up.

Apparently he told her that he has taken an $800 pay cut since we divorced and that he is having a hard time covering the mortgage and that I have ignored him every time he has tried to talk to me about the house and that he cannot keep it up much longer and that our house might go into foreclosure.

That is a lot shorter than I thought it would be.  I have so much more that I could add but I will not.  Needless to say, I now know where he is stationed...I know how much his BAH is and his base pay...and I know that he is lying out of his ASS!

I am going to stop right there before I say something that I might regret...oh who am I kidding...I do not regret anything because it is a wasted emotion!  Besides...there is always the delete button if I change my mind about something, right?!  He must be living way above his means because there was obviously not a $800 pay cut!  Or maybe he should think about living with a roommate!  However he has never been the most logical thinker when it comes to things like that.  I understand wanting to have your own place but he wants to live like a hermit...when a roommate would alleviate some of the financial burdens he is supposedly having!

Until next time!

I Think It Could Be!

I have this feeling and I am not sure what it is but I think it could be the "L" word.  I have mentioned Mr. Wonderful before and while I still have not met him, I feel so connected to him.  He makes me feel so special.  He makes me feel wanted and needed and cared for.

He wants to be with me.

ME!!!

Someone he has never met.  Someone he has barely spoken to except by short voice notes and texts and tweets and messages.  Someone he has only seen pictures of.  With all that, he has determined that he wants me and no one else.

I cannot help but feel the same.  I do not know him outside of the texts and voice notes and pictures yet he is all that I think about!  I dream about meeting him and how it will play out at the airport.  I can hear him say "Hey Beautiful" and have those be the first two words that he physically speaks to me and I just melt.  I know that I will melt mainly because I do whenever he says it in a voice note or text.

I feel so girly and my heart just swells every time I hear from him.  I just want to shout from the top of the Space Needle how I feel about him and I just might when he comes to visit in the not-so-distant future.  I do not know exactly when he is coming but I just realized that it could be in about seven weeks.  That time will just FLY by!  I have a few places that I really want to take him to...places that I truly love and cannot wait to have someone I care about go to these places!

Now I feel like I am rambling again so I am going to turn the laptop off and watch more "Parenthood".

Until next time!