Why Do We Want What We Cannot Have?

What do you think is going on in this picture? Is it a guy ordering a drink and flirting with this girl? Is she trying to keep him from walking away by sliding her foot behind his leg? What do you think is going through each of their minds?

To me, I see a woman who wants someone she cannot have. The way he is completely facing the bar (or wherever they are) almost says that he is not interested. Imagine for a second that he was turned slightly towards her...how different that would make the picture?

While I am the first to admit that I suck at flirting and I am even worse (or more oblivious would be more accurate) at detecting when someone else is flirting with or hitting on me. If I try to flirt, I stutter and stumble over my words. I trip over my own feet...which really is not any different from my normal every day self...I hurt myself or someone else. Not quite poking an eye out or anything but damn near close enough!

I do not date much...not now...not ever really. I blame the lack of dating and severe lack of social skills when I was younger to the fact that I cannot flirt nor recognize when someone else is.

I finally am getting around to the subject of my post tonight and the reason behind the picture. Why do we want what we cannot have? I am pretty sure that I have wrote about this in the not-so-distant past but it is something that has just been plaguing my mind lately...well...at least 3 days a week for sure but practically every day I am thinking about it!

This particular man that I am currently interested in has left my head and my heart battling it out...I have my head screaming out, "HEY STUPID!!! THIS IS A REALLY BAD IDEA!!!" My heart just responds, "I know...(glance up and see said man) but I just cannot help it!" I have thought about it plenty of times. Wondering if the situation were different and we had met under different circumstances would I still be attracted to him...

My answer varies...and usually that question comes to mind just about the time someone makes him laugh and he has this horribly bad laugh. If I only hear him laughing, my answer is usually a probably not but if I see him while he is laughing I have to fight to keep from almost melting in my shoes!

I hang my head in shame at the fact that I am so intensely attracted to this man that I should not be and all signs point to "BAD IDEA". Some say I should not but I have always had this issue with wanting the men I should not have.

I have been out with this man quite often with other people and there have been times when body parts touch...elbows, knees, etc and yet neither pulls away. I actually try and make a conscious effort to look into his eyes when he speaks to me and anyone who knows me knows that I hate to look into people's eyes because it totally creeps me out! There have been a few occasions where we have found ourselves out...just the two of us...and things have been said or done that have made me question if he was kind of trying to flirt with me.

For instance...in the same night he made a suggestive move while drinking a drink (granted we were laughing and joking about something) and he may have just been making fun of me for the way I was licking the sugar off my glass before taking a sip of my drink. I have to say that I was a little turned on...then he tried to feed me part of the dessert we were splitting. I think because of this internal battle of wanting him but knowing that I should not is what has been holding me back from really trying anything...because it really would be a BAD IDEA!!!

Okay so now that I feel like I was just rambling and not even sure if I said what I originally intended to say, I am going to sign off, put my laundry away and crash!

Until next time!

Have You Ever Had To Deal With The Police?

I know that I have been sort of MIA for awhile but I have been crazy busy...but that is for a different blog at a later date...and I have a few that I want to write!  For now, let me address the title of my post!

Have you ever had to deal with the police?  Other than your routine traffic stops I mean.  I have been pulled over a few times, once resulting in a speeding ticket that (if I had not been in the middle of transferring to New Orleans and had a few extra days) I would have fought because I most definitely was not speeding AND I am sorry but Mr. Texas State Trooper you cannot possibly think that I would believe you when you said that, "It took me forever to catch up to you."  If that is the case then you need to go back to working a beat where the speed limit is NOT 70 mph...or you need to petition for better vehicles if you could not catch me in my little V6 automatic Ford Mustang (that had the cruise control set at no more than 75 mph...not 86 retard)!

Again...not really what I was getting at so let me try that again!  I like to think that I have had a fairly decent set of morals and values taught to me and that I try to be a good person.  My freshman year of high school I was walking home from school with a few friends.  It was not the most direct route home.  In fact, it was the completely opposite direction of my house but that was because it was still really nice and hot outside and we were heading to 7-11 for some Slurpees!

On the main road to get from the school to 7-11 we were walking on the sidewalk going against the traffic.  We were laughing and joking and talking when I smelled smoke.  We all looked across the street and saw that someone's lawn had caught FIRE!  It had been so hot and dry and the homeowners obviously were not watering their lawn otherwise it would not have burned.

A couple of my guy friends ran around the house looking for a hose to start spraying it to put it out while the couple other girl friends and I started banging down the front door yelling that their yard was on fire.  The owners son was home sleeping and we woke him and he thought we were playing a joke.  Like we would play a joke like that, let alone a joke like that on someone we did not know!

We helped put the fire out and thought that was it but apparently I was wrong.  The next thing I know a detective shows up at my house a few days later.  We invited him into our home, offered him something to drink, thought that he was going to take my statement and thank me and my friends for being Good Samaritans. Not at all.  He took my statement and then practically called me a liar to my face and in front of my mom.  He told me to quit covering for my friends and told me that if I told him who started the fire they would not hold anything against me.

I do not remember if I cried but I know that I was angry enough to cry and that is when my mom told him that it was enough and that we were done.  She asked him to leave and that he needed to think twice before telling a 14 year old girl that she was a liar and needed to turn in her friends for something they helped STOP...not start.

Have you ever had to deal with the police in this sort of capacity?  Please share your story with me!

What Have You Had Waxed Lately? Part 2

This is about a week overdue...but I did it! I got my "lady parts" waxed. I still went in with no expectations. I did not expect it to be painless NOR did I expect it to hurt like hell that way I would be...for lack of a better word...surprised. My friend that was supposed to go with me ended up having to work BUT just my luck, my aunt came into town last Sunday and she went with me!

I walked into the salon and had a little bit of a wait. I sat there trying not to syke myself out and tried to just think of it as getting my eyebrows waxed. Yeah right! Like that would really happened.


She calls me back and I get ready and lay up on the table and she comes in. I told her that if she said that there STILL was not enough hair growth then damn it I was going home and getting rid of it! Of course she decides to be a joker and makes a gasping sound when she looks and then said that she was only kidding. I looked her in the face and said, "Not funny!"


It hurt...and it hurt a lot! My mom said that it hurt liked being snapped by a rubber band but as soon as it stung, it was over. SHE LIED!!! With each yank of the strip, I could not breathe. I was holding my breath. Okay so I was not doing it on purpose. It is just one of those times when it hurts so bad that you suck your breath in and hold it before letting it all out...


To top it all off...Mom forgot to mention the effing TWEEZERS! That is right...the sick sadistic waxer lady busted out the tweezers. I swear I was sore for about 4 days after. It really was not as bad as I thought it might be but I definitely had to think twice before making that next appointment and I was very much hesitant but I did it anyway. I am going back and hopefully it does not hurt as bad as the first time. I sent my mom a text after I was done calling her (and I quote) a "dirty lying sack of sh*t whore." Lol! It is a very good thing that I have such a great relationship with my mom that I can say something like that to her and her response is, "Shut up big baby."


Alright, I do have a few other things that I want to write about and post so I am going to end this here and say my farewell. Until next time!