Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Only 15 Minutes

I have just about 15 minutes before I have to leave to head to the gym but I figured that I have not written in months.  I made two previous attempts but did not quite get them done.  A lot has happened since I wrote about Meaghan's death.  To make a long story short, I spent over three weeks in Washington staying at my mom's house in March.  On my way back, I ended up stopping at a rest stop and got into a yelling match with my husband who is now my ex.  We decided that we were separating and getting a divorce.  I spent the next day trying to find a place to live and the two friends I had relied on letting me stay with them turned me down when I was about two hours from town.  I was homeless for about three hours and ended up taking up my friend's offer to stay at his house.

My feelings for him have grown.  I have fallen for him and here I am almost 3 months later and I find myself growing closer and closer to him every day.  He has been here for me through one of the toughest times I have ever gone through.  My ex has been a total douche bag and unfortunately there are not enough hours in a day to describe his douche bagginess!  All I know is that I am so much better off without him in my life.  I have had to make a lot of sacrifices since leaving and have lost a lot of friends because they "do not want to take sides"...yet they have...and they have taken his.  I have slowly come to the conclusion that this has caused me more drama than I even had in high school...and I am related to two girls who say they hate drama and yet always seem to be surrounded by it.

It has been a long time since I was happy and I have been so happy the last few months and I only have the gym I am looking at this very second to thank for that...even as I keep moving my laptop to keep him from seeing what I am typing.  It is only fair that he has to wait until I post for him to read just like the rest of you!

I will try and write more often...then maybe I will have more revelations that I can talk to my therapist about even though I only have a few more sessions.