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Monday, September 9, 2013

Believe/Hope/Pray


I originally started to write tonight about something completely different tonight but I came to a pausing point where I didn't really know where to go so I saved it as a draft and was going to come back to it.  I diddled around on Facebook for a little bit and then decided to take a look at Pinterest since I'm actually using my mom's laptop.  I came across this picture and it reminded me of a conversation.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about someone and referred to him affectionately as "Asshole".  He isn't an asshole but I was angry and hurt and it is how I felt at the time.  I was absolutely in love with him for years!  Last year I fell for him all over again and then he disappeared on me.

I remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine.  He wanted to know WHY I was waiting for this guy.  What was holding me back from going to him?  He was throwing out all sorts of questions like that and I couldn't answer a single one of them.  I was putting my life on hold waiting for him.

I couldn't wait forever for him and I am glad that I didn't wait because I found an amazing man.  My BF is the greatest man.  I couldn't be happier.  I am the luckiest woman in the world.  He opens doors/car doors for me.  He makes me feel loved and wanted.  He respects me.  He comforts me.  He helps me embrace my inner nerd and enhance it!  He listens to me.  He encourages me.  He loves me.  He falls asleep holding me.  I wake up happier when I wake up next to him.  We cook together.  We love to just be with each other.  I can spend the whole day with him not really doing anything and still have a great day!

For example, Sunday we went out for breakfast (at lunch time because we slept really late and totally needed it), came home, cleaned, he tried to teach me to play Magic...I tried to understand it and I think I started to get it but I'm not entirely too sure.  I told him that he needed to have patience with me because I have never played card games like that before and I didn't understand and that it would take some time.

He held me when I had an anxiety/panic attack last night.  My chest hurt, my heart was pounding, I couldn't breathe, I felt sick and I was dizzy.  I don't know what happen except that I was crying and he was holding me.  He said that he was scared but the bits I remember he seemed very calm.  I am so glad he was there for me.  He did tell me today that he didn't mean to break me...lol!  I'm not broken silly man!  I am absolutely in love with this man!  I can't even begin to imagine what I would do without him.

It is his birthday this weekend and it is going to be amazing!  I'll make sure that my camera is fully charged and that I take lots of pics!  I won't post what we're doing just in case he reads this (which he will at some point) but he is going to have a blast!  I hope he realizes that he truly is an amazing man and that he is extremely special to me!  To everyone!  If not then I have failed as his girlfriend but I think in addition to all the reasons he says I the best, I hope to achieve super awesome girlfriend status this weekend...or at least pretty damn close to!

I might post some pics of the awesome weekend we have next week...and maybe some video if I can get some!

Until next time!