Love The One You Are With...

Or love yourself if you are single...like me!  This time of year is not necessarily hard for me because I have never had anyone to make it special.  My ex husband's birthday is February 13th...therefore every year I got to hear about how he thanked his mother every year for pushing him out before midnight.  There was nothing I could do to ever make his birthday special.  Lord knows I tried though.  I have made it publicly known that I am far from girly HOWEVER I found that I need to hear that I am beautiful and needed and wanted and loved...blah blah blah...

I have never really had a Valentine or a date on Valentine's Day for that matter.  It would be nice to actually wear one of these dresses hanging in my closet.  Like last year and the year before and the year before that (and so on and so forth), I will be dateless and Valentineless.  I will be at work on Valentine's Day...I will wear my red work shirt (my hair is newly half-colored red) and I will just go about my day like it was any other day.

I very much wish that I had my special someone to spend Valentine's Day with but since I do not, I will probably stop by the store, get some chocolate cake and ice cream, come home and lock myself in my room and enjoy some wine...or a lot of wine...depends on my mood...

What do you have planned for Valentine's Day?  Are you spending it with someone special or just treating yourself like the special person you are?  Until next time!

I Think It Could Be!

I have this feeling and I am not sure what it is but I think it could be the "L" word.  I have mentioned Mr. Wonderful before and while I still have not met him, I feel so connected to him.  He makes me feel so special.  He makes me feel wanted and needed and cared for.

He wants to be with me.

ME!!!

Someone he has never met.  Someone he has barely spoken to except by short voice notes and texts and tweets and messages.  Someone he has only seen pictures of.  With all that, he has determined that he wants me and no one else.

I cannot help but feel the same.  I do not know him outside of the texts and voice notes and pictures yet he is all that I think about!  I dream about meeting him and how it will play out at the airport.  I can hear him say "Hey Beautiful" and have those be the first two words that he physically speaks to me and I just melt.  I know that I will melt mainly because I do whenever he says it in a voice note or text.

I feel so girly and my heart just swells every time I hear from him.  I just want to shout from the top of the Space Needle how I feel about him and I just might when he comes to visit in the not-so-distant future.  I do not know exactly when he is coming but I just realized that it could be in about seven weeks.  That time will just FLY by!  I have a few places that I really want to take him to...places that I truly love and cannot wait to have someone I care about go to these places!

Now I feel like I am rambling again so I am going to turn the laptop off and watch more "Parenthood".

Until next time!

Where Do You Find Love?

It still comes as a shock to most people when they find out that

• I am 28 years old
• I am a Vet (and "disabled"...20% for now)
• I was married for almost four years
• I have been divorced for over a year

I have made many promises to myself since my marriage fell apart

• I will never make a promise that I am not 100% certain that I can keep
• I will speak my mind and not keep my feelings and emotions bottled up (still working on the whole bottled up part...kinda encoded in my DNA)
• I will NEVER lock away who I really am ever again
• I will do what I need to in order to make myself happy

I have also been living by the been there, done that, not doing it again motto when asked if I want to get married again.  Ask me at any time, day or night, and I will NOT hesitate to say no way!

The truth is I do not know if I want to get married again...and I will not know unless I meet a man that can change my mind.  I do want a family...but it can wait...I am not in a rush anymore.  Do I want another wedding or another piece of paper that was so easy to obtain and so difficult to get out of...I do not know if I will ever be able to trust someone enough to not try and strip me of everything that makes me who I am again or who will make me completely vulnerable and dependant on him.  Can you say TRUST ISSUES!!!

With all that being said, I have to admit, I signed up for eHarmony like over 10 years ago when it first started (and was FREE...I might add).  I did not actually have any luck...but I did not actually keep up with it or anything and discontinued use when they decided to start making you pay.  I added the Match.com app on Facebook and once I discovered that you could not actually contact the people they were matching you with unless you PAID I deleted my account.

I am not against finding someone by using online sites and social media but I am broke and am not willing to pay a website.  I have found that in becoming who I am, I have become more open-minded.  I interact with people on Twitter all the time.  Perfect strangers.  Facebook...well that one I like to keep Private and only accept those who I actually know personally.

You strike up conversations with complete and total strangers over pictures, links, etc.  I am not sure how, when or why my interaction with Mr Wonderful* started but it started on Twitter.  Then we started sending messages on Facebook.  Getting to know each other.  He told me about an app that you can send voice notes and text.

Next thing I know, I am waking up in the morning with a voice notes from Mr Wonderful calling me beautiful and saying good morning and hoping that I have a good day.  If it is a day that I have to work the Line, he tells me that he hopes I do not injure myself.  Ha!  Very unlikely!  He once told me that he was going to wrap me in bubble wrap so I would not hurt myself and so he could pop it!  On a particularly difficult night, he quoted "Fraggle Rock", "Star Trek" and "Boondock Saints" trying to cheer me up!

I find my heart fluttering when I have any contact with him.  I feel myself blush when he compliments me.  I cannot help but feel giddy thinking about him.  If I find half a second to catch my breath while I am working, he comes to mind.  I have seen his face.  I have heard his voice.  I close my eyes and I can almost see and hear him speak directly to me.  We want to meet but we live in different time zones.  There is a possibility that we might be able to meet in the next few months and the anticipation is just killing me...and I am fairly certain that he feels the same.

The title poses a question.  Where do you find love?  Please leave a comment (either with your name or anonymously) and tell me where you found love.  If you have not found love yet, please comment about what/who you hope to find someday!

Until next time!

*Name has been changed

Something From The Heart

When it comes down to it, I want it to be you and me.

Can you see it?

Sitting on the beach?

Bundled up in the snow?

Driving down a back road to nowhere?

With you by my side, I will go anywhere!